Sunday 9 February 2014

My Dumb Fucking Plans



“Castle Aelfheim of Lord Aelevengeth

At first, you will see nine towers. Each has about 4 defender(s) visible (there are actually seven times that number total) and about 1 will arrive per round in the case of an alarm. The outer walls are 51 feet tall and the towers extend 9 feet above them.
 
from the sea, there will be 33 feet of ordinary ground before the walls start.

*Due to the condition of the walls, climb checks are at plus four.
*The lowest windows are 38 feet up.
*The initial volley from the towers in case of an unexpected attack will be crossbow fire. The second volley in case of a siege, an anticipated attack, or a small but persistent raiding party (like a bunch of PCs) will consist of more standard bowfire-
*Additional security measures include:
A gatehouse with inner portcullises that cut off the gatehouse at both ends. A series of secondary walls--12 feet higher than the outer walls. There are 1 fewer inner towers than outer ones.
*Also:
The captain of the garrison is insane. The interior architecture is irrational--dead ends, pointlessly sloping passages, etc. “


So when we come to ask ourselves how to kill Lord Aelevengarth the question is complex.

Outer walls 51 feet
Nine outer towers each 60 feet
Assume each tower has 28 guys defending

Inner walls 63 feet
Eight inner towers (assume 72 feet?)
Does each inner tower also have 28 guys?
If so then the total number of defenders would be about 476!

Frontal assault is out.

Assault by stealth - The walls are easy to climb and the windows are low but the inside of the castle is irrational, G+ means poor mapping so we are almost certain to get lost inside

The weak point is the paranoid garrison captain (play last session revealed his insanity manifests itself as paranoia.)

I know my plan for everything is assault by deception, but, it does seem like the best bet this time. (Of course that requires a complex plan, which will certainly go wrong.)

Best idea so far is plant the idea in the captains mind that Aelfheim is a doppleganger. Somehow place some kind of mind enchantment or alter Aelfheim somehow so he doesn't 'seem' like himself.

Maybe effect his memory somehow? The effect should be non-harmful and so mild that no-one would think to defend against it. So mild that it would seem pointless to curse or poison someone with it.

Something like 'you forget the name of your dogs' or 'you forget the names of your servants until you are reminded'.

If the curse itself remains a secret and we implant the suspicion in the paranoid guard captain correctly then he will kill Aelfheim for us, hopefully in front of witnesses. Then we kill the captain in revenge and leave with clean hands.



1       Plant Doppleganger suspicions in in the mind of Guard Captain.

(My favourate way of doing this is to forge a letter to the Guard Captain from Nornrik, have some goon deliver it. It says;

'Please disregard the earlier message, it was written by a low level official with paranoid fantasies who has since been dismissed. There is nothing to worry about. Do not allow any of these wild and unfounded accusations to besmirch the honour of Lord Aelevengarth. He has our full support.'

But no earlier message ever came. And if he writes back, they say they know nothing about the letter he got. Then if he tests it, he finds out it's forged.

If he questions the goon, the guy lies, badly, then on further questioning says a bunch of weird guys in the wastes paid him to bring it. They wore masks.

And all of this makes him more suspicious, because every piece of evidence that there is no conspiracy, is also evidence that the conspiracy is bigger than you thought.)

Alter Aelevengeth in some mild way, keep it secret.

Start asking the guard captain 'hey, you see anything weird about that guy?' Join him in finding out what’s going on.

Kill some of Aelevengeth's personal staff. Make it look as if he did it.

Join with captain as 'only ones he can trust'

Civil war breaks out inside castle? Good.

Persuade guard captain 'now is the time' he kills his boss, or dies trying. Either way we step in to clean up.

This is a terrible plan. But they all are aren’t they?

Less-shit plan. Cause a distraction, have assassin, thief and combat monk infiltrate the castle by climbing. Get to the lord. Kill him. Escape.

Other plan- Lord Aelevengeth is a keen hunter. Create impression of some terrifying beast out in the wastes. Kill some livestock, leave strange tracks to ambush spot. If anyone but Aelevengeth tries to catch it, kill them and leave freaky wounds on the bodies. Then, when Aelevengeth comes out to fight it, lure him into the spot and nail him from all sides. (Downside, he is a good hunter, will probably work it out. Never fight someone in their preferred arena.)



Interestingly, my thief Kölkblser Mönsterhole is a true child of the millenium. though he doesnt know it, every moment of his life is on record. All of his games have been written up by one person or another. (Depending on whether you can acces the G+ posts.)

He starts out in my friend Nathan’s far North setting and has a bunch of adventures up there (Still immune to natural fire! Never come in useful but it will one day I’m sure.)


Next Kolk moved to the Vorn-welt (WeltVorn?). This got written up by Chris Peterson on G+

He spent his time kind-of weirdly transferring back and forth between the Vorn-Welt and Arnold K’s ‘House of Hours’. In one he’s a Homburg-Wearing thief with a Trombone case, in the other it’s more standard D&D thief.

So far his most terrifying enemies have been some moving IV drips and a bad internet connection.

He has recently sworn fealty to a pig who saved the entire party.









1 comment:

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